Digimon: Randomosity Velocity
by ValiantOne1
Summary: A bunch of short stories put together by the Digi gang. Rated "T" for "I don't know what to rate it!" I was bored... yeah... really bored...


**A/N:** Its been a long while since I last posted a story, due to college stuff. Here's a one shot I decided to make over random moments with the Digi gang. I figured that it seems like everything always ends happily ever after in a lot of things. So i figured why not have the opposite effect happen instead. In other words, if it can go bad it probably will. Other than that, everything is just random or remake of a joke. I think this will be fun soooo... let the good times roll, already.

I forgot all about this, so let me say...

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Digimon, the anime, in any way, shape, or form. **Voice Over: **Viewer's discretion is advised...lol not really. I always wanted to say that!

* * *

**Random Moments Begin:**

**Naughty Takuya**

"Hey Zoe!" Takuya was facing a web cam as he spoke to Zoe on the web.

"Hey Takuya!" Zoe responded over the web cam.

"Hey babe. Sooo.... whatcha doin'?" Takuya asked.

"Mmm nothin'. Just busy talkin to you." she teased him.

"Sooo... what are you wearing?" Takuya asked.

"Ooooo..well then why don't I just show you..." she started to adjust the camera when all of a sudden Takuya's computer shut down.

"Hey! What the. What happened to the power?" he looked around and saw that the light was still on, his clock was still working, and even his watch was still ticking (lol its not plugged to anything.), therefore the power couldn't have gone out.

He looked to his left and saw Shinya holding the power cord to the computer in his hand.

"Wait till I tell Mom." Shinya threatened with a mischievous grin as he dangled the cord in his hand.

(Whomp whomp whomp)

***

**Hot Dog!**

Kouji was walking down the side walk with his dog. He was giving him a daily walk when all of a sudden the dog went crazy. It started growling and sniffing the air.

""What is it Hugo?" Kouji asked. The dog took off with Kouji holding on to his leash.

"Hey, boy! Slow down!" Kouji shouted while his dog, Hugo, kept running down the sidewalk.

"What are you running for?" Kouji struggled to keep up while holding on to the leash.

Hugo came to an abrupt stop and stared in front of him. There, he could see the hot dog man. Hugo's eyes glazed over as his tongue drooled out of his mouth and his ears perked up.

"NO! Hugo!" Koji warned, but Hugo took off once again with Kouji stumbling behind him.

Kouji crashed into the hot dog man, sending the man and his cart in the air. There was hot dog, ketchup, mustard, and relish everywhere.

"No! Hugo stop!" Kouji ordered as he got up from the ground. Hugo was busy chomping down on a hot dog.

"And to think your dog is a cannibal. I used real dog meat!" the hot dog man confessed.

Hugo heard the man and quickly dropped the meat out of his mouth and whimpered.

"Serves you right, Hugo!" Kouji said as he grabbed the leash.

(I hope that isn't true though. Sorry to all the dog lovers out there.)

***

**Just a Finger Tip Away**

JP is at the Cooper House diner and is reaching for his milkshake. He continually reaches for it just across the table. His fingers is only a finger tip away from it.

"OH MAN! Just a few more inches..." JP grunted as his belly got in the way of him reaching for the shake. He kept grunting and growling as he held his hands out to grab the drink, but he wasn't making any progress.

"Must... reach... farther..." he was sweating hard as he kept reaching. This was like extraneous exercise to him. He also farted in the process after a long attempt to no avail.

"Oh gosh... I need a chicken wing!"

Zoe walked by and saw his dilemma and pushed the shake over to him, in pity.

"Gosh your so lazy!" she stressed as she strutted away.

She left JP alone with his nice cold chocolate milkshake that he was drinking.

(Mmmmm... chocolate milkshake)

***

**Girl Talk**

"And so I was like yeah! And you were like uh-huh! And then they were like yeah right!" Takuya was talking to Kouji about something that neither of them knew about.

"Like OMG! I totally LOL-ed at that moment!" Kouji laughed.

"More like LMAO!" Takuya corrected.

"BTW that was TMI!" Kouji responded.

"What you mean?"

"IDK!" Kouji joked. This was unlike any of them.

Both Zoe and Rose stood right in front of them with their arms crossed. They were appalled.

"We _do not_ talk like that!" Zoe vented.

"Yeah, like what totally made you think we do? As if." Rose completed Zoe's thought. Everyone looked at her.

"What? MYB!" Rose said.

"M-Y-B? What does that mean. That's a new one." Takuya and Kouji were confused.

"Mind your business!" Zoe informed.

And that is girl talk 101... or 102.

(Here's a key: **LOL**(laugh out loud)** LMAO**(Laugh My A** Off) **BTW**(By the way) **TMI**(Too much Information) **IDK**(I don't know) )

***

**Potty Mouth**

"Yes I beat you again!" Tommy cheered. He beat his brother in a football madden tournament. "Now where is my twenty dollars?" Tommy held his hand out for Yutaka to give him the money.

"Here, fine!" he slammed it into his hand and walked off. "You need to get out more often."

"I do, you 'poopy' head!" (Those weren't exactly the words Tommy used.)

"What did you say?" Yutaka asked with a shocked look on his face.

Tommy couldn't help but stare at him with a blank stare on his face. For a while he couldn't believe what he said. He was at loss for words.

"Oh fine... here's your twenty, back!" Tommy gave the back the money. He did it to bribe him from telling their parents or he would have been grounded.

(Dirty mouth? Clean it up with Orbit gum for a clean feeling, no matter what!)

***

**Yoga Time**

Kouichi was calmly sitting on a mat relaxing his mind with his legs crossed. He continued to think on positive thoughts as he relaxed his mind.

In the background, Kouji kept walking by his brother to see what he was up to. Each time he passed he heard Kouichi humming and such.

"Kouichi, what on earth are you doing?" Kouji asked.

"I'm... relaxing." Kouichi answered as he took deep breaths.

"Relaxing? For what?"

"Sssssh.... I'm concentrating!" Kouichi whispered harshly.

"ON what?"

"Quiet! Your ruining my vibe!" Kouichi continued to whisper.

"What vibe?" Kouji still was asking pestering questions.

"My positive vibe." Kouichi waved his hand in a relaxing manner.

"I don't see what's the point to all this." Kouji mentioned.

"There's no need to. Just get down and try it yourself. You'll see. It makes you feel better."

"There's no way I'm getting down to try that." Kouji admitted.

"Why? Are you scared?" Kouichi instigated.

"No... Fine, but don't expect anything." Kouji got down and started humming along with his brother.

After a while they started positioning their bodies in different yoga formations.

"Now, for starters, lets try the downward dog." Kouichi suggested calmly as if he were a real yoga instruct.

Kouji got in the formation as soon as their biological mother walked in the room. Kouji then hastily got up from the mat and dusted himself off.

"What I wasn't doing any yoga with Kouichi. That's unlike me." Kouji held his hands behind his back and was looking up at the ceiling.

"Sure you weren't Kouji. Sure you weren't" she teased as she patted him on the head. Kouichi laughed.

(Ha ha ha... just wait till Kouichi tells the others...)

*******

**Man Cave**

"And this is our man cave!" Robby directed Takuya to the basement of Jack, Bobby, and his basement.

"The basement? _This_ is your man cave?" Takuya questioned as he looked around at all the cramped space and cob webs.

"Yep, you bet. This is were we get together to get away from the outside world." Robby replied as he lifted a few boxes out of the way.

"It's pretty cramped in here." Takuya complained.

"Yeah, but it still is our home away from home." Jack defended.

Robby brought out a cooler and offered Takuya a soda can, but Takuya's attention was on some sort of contraption.

"What is this?" Takuya pointed at the contraption.

"Wait! Don't..." Jack warned but it was too late. The mechanism blew up and sent Takuya to fly back and caused a chain reaction as things fell over and broke to pieces.

When everything finally settle and everyone was buried in junk, everyone got out of the rubble and stared a mean hole at Takuya. They raised and pointed their hands in unison towards the stairs and Takuya followed. He walked up the stairs in the walk of shame. (*Walk of Shame Music*)

(lol, poor Takuya)

***

**NO MANS LAND**

Takuya and Kouichi both were walking around the school hall talking about... nothing, really. They kept blabbing about rubbish.

"And so I said, 'Oh yeah'!" Takuya joked and Kouichi started laughing hard.

They both walked in through a door to the girls locker room. They were so distracted over their conversation that they didn't see Zoe and Rose playing dress up. They both walked in and back out the room unphased as if nothing happened.

(...where no man has gone before, these two have)

*******

**Behind Closed Doors**

JP quickly walked into his room and set down his video camera. He looked back out the door to see if anyone was coming. He then closed the door shut and faced the video camera.

"Uhm... ok this is a video over my awesome dance skills...take one." JP explained to the camera as if he were talking to an audience.

He deliriously started jumping around in circles, flinging his hands in the air. He then placed one hand under his other armpit and started making gas noises.

This went on for a good two minutes until his parents opened the door to tell him dinner was ready. Instead, they were greeted with a sight of JP making a fool of himself.

"Uhm.. JP!" JP's dad started.

JP jumped around to see the shocked look on his parents face. JP was at first startled then he blushed madly.

"Dinner is ready." His mom finished as she stifled a giggle.

(*shakes head*)

***

**Told ya so**

"Tommy, mom said not to do anything reckless, so don't try to do anything stupid like jumping on the bed. You'll hurt yourself." Yutaka was giving brotherly advice as he was instructed to.

"Your not the boss of me! I jump on the bed if I want to." Tommy defied his brothers advice. He quickly got on his bed and started jumping like a monkey.

"Ooo look at me! Look at me! I'm jumping on the bed! I'm going to hurt myself!" Tommy chanted sarcastically. He kept jumping and jumping till he finally fell off and land on his foot wrong, "OW I hurt myself!"

Yutaka looked down and shook his head."Told ya so."

Mom's not going to be happy about this.

(Tommy, quick! Blame it on Yutaka like most siblings do!)

***

**Let Me Be Myself**

(**Music:** Let Me Be Myself, by 3 Doors Down)

Kouji was walking down a vacant street. It seemed like everyone was avoiding him. For some reason his face was disfigured and was hideous, so when he went from place to place, it seemed like people would hide or walk away from him.

He walked aimlessly around the street as he watched people look at him and barf. Either that, or they would point and scream.

He couldn't understand what was going on, He felt his face and could feel all the bumps, wrinkles and warts that covered it. He reached for his hair that was in a nappy and unkempt ponytail. Flies kept flying around his face. Not only that, but he realized he had a long beard that looked non-groomed.

As he approached an electronic store, he turned to face it only to see his hideous face in a hundred tv screens. He looked like a caveman. When he looked into the screen and behind him, he saw people either laughing or screaming in horror.

_Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you  
To say that it's OK, tell me please..._

Kouji dropped to his knees and raised his hands up as he cried out to the sky. It started raining. He swiftly got up from his spot and started running in no particular direction. In slow motion, as he ran, he took off his glasses and threw them down. He reached for his hair and untangled it from its nasty ponytail.

_Would you one time,  
Just Let Me Be Myself  
So i can shine,  
with my own light  
Let Me Be Myself _

He ran threw a flock of birds and sent them flying away. He ripped off his shirt and threw it behind him as he kept running. He kept running without stopping.

That was when he finally woke up from his nightmare and realized the whole thing wasn't real.

(If you've seen the Geico Cavemen commercial then you would understand this more)

*******

**Contagious Laughter**

It was a nice day in the park as Kouji sat on a bench and watched the trees sway. All of a sudden, Takuya walked by him and started laughing. Kouji looked at him quizzically.

"What's so funny?" he asked. Takuya kept laughing uncontrollably.

Then Zoe walked up next to Takuya, looked him up and down, and started giggling like a little school girl. Then Rose came by and joined in. This was getting weird.

JP drove up to them in his pick up truck and rolled down his window. He too started laughing madly as he turned down the volume to his speakers.

Tommy came up to the truck and started chuckling at JP in a little kid voice. From across the street, Jack, Robby, and Bobby were laughing and hooting like hyenas as they pointed at the rest of the group across the street.

Then, Kouichi walked by with a water bottle. He walked by the group as he guzzled down is drink. From the corner of his eyes, he saw everyone looking at him. He suddenly spat the water out of his mouth and rolled on the floor, laughing out loud.

Pretty soon everyone was laughing at the top of their lungs. Even Kouji chuckled.

"Why are we laughing?" Kouji asked in between chuckles that he was trying to hold back.

Everyone stopped laughing and looked at each other. They all shrugged simultaneously 'cause they didn't know why. With that much said, they all regained their senses and continued with their everyday life.

(This message was brought to you by, **L-O-L** (Laugh out Loud), telling you to LAUGH. Its contagious. **Warning:** laughter may cause one to start crying due to too much laughter.)

* * *

**A/N:** And there you have it. A bunch of ergodic moments that I thought of. It was interesting, actually, writing all those spontaneous things. I'm also thinking about continuing them, I don't know.

(My next Takumi one shot is on its way, just to let you know, so beware and be ready.)

Well this is Alvin Chip telling you good night and sweat dreams... with big things... OK I'll quit already.


End file.
